This project is now done
A lot of subjects I have run
And all of this was wrong
Since p equals just point one.
I test more people just like you
Who are Dutch and have a clue
There is this and more to do
But p only rises to point two.
So, I try to save some time
Reject outliers, that is fine
Stats together with some wine
And hop p is down to point O nine
Shall this now be my fate?
Get a result just second rate?
I give the data to a mate,
And hop, p is down to point O eight.
And then someone says to me
That more can be done with RT
After ROI’ing I see with glee
That p is down to point O three.
And so I feel like I’m in heaven
But a coding error I am havin’
Down I cry in my office at ‘leven
When p equals point O seven.
So, I try non-parametrics
You know the part of statistics
Where your results can get a fix
And hop p is down to point O six.
I nearly felt my feelings soar
If only I could do some more
There is here an effect for sure
Once p is down to point O four.
At this point I lose my drive
If only p would go down and dive
This project is no more alive
As p is greater than point O five.
This poem was written for the IMPRS (Nijmegen) Sinterklaas celebration.